autumn days

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Hand Prints & Autumn Leaves

My beautiful partner was in the hospital for three weeks before he died.  Each day I would go to see him as early and often as I could manage while juggling the needs of our three young children.  Each day as I walked through the parking lot, I looked up at the trees as they shed their leaves and looked down at the ground covered with brilliant yet fading colors.  This was meditative, soothing, and comforting for me.  I found many metaphors in these moments for the phase of life my family was experiencing.  The trees were losing their leaves as my family was experiencing our greatest loss.  It felt right, like we were engaging in a natural yet devastating process, going within ourselves to pull out whatever would help us get through each moment together, to make the most of the finite time we got together.  

Now that most of the leaves have fallen, and my beloved has gone from our hands, I cherish the comfort brought in those moments with autumn colors.  I cherish the hand prints we created in the last days together for our children to hold tight to their daddy.  I cherish all the moments we had together.  I cherish the love that will live on in my heart for all of my days.  I cherish this life I get to spend with my children and our family.  We are so very blessed in love.

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