My intention within my family is to guide our family toward joy, light, grace, and connection. Some days that is quite the challenge. My beautiful son refused to close the bathroom door this morning, to keep his baby sister safe. This small choice escalated until three of us were shouting. Thankfully this is rare for us. We are juggling a lot of emotions here. Yesterday we met teachers for our immersion in public school. This morning we got a reconfirmation of my partner's lung cancer diagnosis. He is, at this moment, getting an MRI on his brain.
When displeased with the course of emotions this morning, I stepped out of my routine and into my prayer space. I gave great thanks for these lives we live together, for the opportunity to grow and know this too shall pass. I stepped into intentionally connecting with friends and renewing my connection with myself. I got to sit outside with a friend to open my heart and drink tea, meditated in the wind, watch the birds move about in preparations for autumn, listen to music that feels good, prepare for my craft of choice: card creations, let go of my children's academic rigamarole, get out of the way of my children's play, delight in my baby sleeping on my back, and plan a date with a friend's trampoline.
My children and I will soon be soothing ourselves with wrestling, walking barefoot outdoors, eating (washed) produce out of the garden, cuddling. It is nice to know that we are doing our best, releasing control of what is outside of ourselves, letting our children know our expectations of not hurting others, honesty about feeling depleted from interactions, talking about how we take care of each other and make deposits and withdrawals in relationships, and that we can recover from a challenging moment and find great blissening within many other moments of our day. I love my partner. I love my children. I love them as my greatest teachers. I love the gift of their lives intermingled with mine. I love the ability to connect with myself through these writings. I love the space in which to connect.