This is just the beginning of a long road for us. Next weekend we will have a family reunion for my partner's family. Most relatives are flying to be near us from California. My partner will have started chemo round two and will be unable to attend his own family's reunion. Our children and I will go without him. So many firsts. So much love. So much surrender, patience, and support. And grace.
I feel myself pulling inward, moving through the motions of caring for my family, losing my sense of self, trying to sleep in my spare time. There are so many swirling emotions: sadness, grief, uncertainty, hope, compassion, wonder, joy, gratitude. Each day I wake, meditate, give great thanks for this life I get to share with my people, hold my partner and children close, and step into the adventures that await us. We are surrounded by love and support. We feel valued and validated. We are so thankful for this time together, the ups and downs, the ebb and flow of our lives. Taking nothing for granted, we treasure every single day together.