autumn days

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Nesting into our Spaces

As I anticipate holding my newest babe in five weeks, I sit to reflect on the state of my heart.  In and out I breath.  My heart is happy, calm, excited, ready.  I am enough.  Looking below enoughness that allows buoyancy, I feel abundance.  A great abundance that knows all I need is here in this moment and all that will follow.  When I falter in knowing this abundance, great lessons await.

I find great comfort in music that raises my joy factor, sitting down for meals with my family, reading the writings of friends and mentors who inspire me, singing with my children, being near chocolate, gardening, and calling my grandma on the telephone each week.  My partner finally brought home the little freezer I'd been demanding.  Yes, demanding.  (Thank you, pregnancy hormones, for that extra push, so very punny, to help me prepare in my own way.)  My friends are sharing their abundance of fresh fruit so we may make our annual jam.  This will feed our family and become gifts through the winter months.  My children and I are finalizing details for a couple gatherings, looking forward to more time with friends, writing love letters, and playing with projects at home.  Paperwork for autumn activities is complete, bringing our life-with-a-newborn routine into focus.  Miraculously, yet intentionally, there is space in our schedule for my new babe and me to be alone.

A new nanny will come love on our children soon while my partner and I have a long-overdue date.  Dinner and a comedy movie are on tap for this hormonal mama.  ("Please, just no drama!")  Our Fairy God Mums are offering their time to be with our wee ones.  My partner is cleaning out the garage and shed while also tackling aggressive wasps in our swing set.  We have successfully completed a week of intensive day camps where I was an adult helper, making new friends along the way.  Our communities and routines are established enough to bring comfort and delighted anticipation.  My children are now old enough to participate in their activities at the same time, such a gift.  And we are eating lots of vegetables!  

As pieces come together and balance is temporarily restored, my list of tasks also expands and contracts, we eat our fair share of sugar, and have our fair share of heated discussions.  With everything, there is contrast, depth, multiple perspectives, the forgiveness of grace, and lessons that await us.  When plans shift between here and there, we will move with the flow and find silver lining within lessons.  I give great thanks for this abundance of comfort, clarity, rest, and grace as my growing family steps forward together into our next great adventure.

Note: Written in August of 2015

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