autumn days

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Reconnecting with Self-Caring Balance

When I cycle into focusing so intently upon the care of others and grow silent and invisible within myself, there are ways to bring myself back into my personal light and balance.  This cycle of caring for others versus myself is a constant balancing act for me as a mother of young children.  My first challenge is to recognize what is happening.  Signs for me slipping into this cycle are a disinterest in socializing and healthy eating, lower energy, more fatigue, less patient and gentle with my children, hopelessness about a situation, feeling lonely, overwhelmed by what is usually manageable, etc.  I also grow silent with myself, my partner, my children, and my friends.  When out of balance, my heart and mind are not open for new experiences and sharing my thoughts with others.

Once I recognize this cycle, I choose to climb my way out of it.  This is the most challenging and least comfortable part of the process for me.  These are my steps to find my way back to my personal light, the life within myself that I reflect back out into the world.

  1. I recognize I'm out of balance and not meeting my own needs.
  2. I intentionally choose to take steps to regain balance.
  3. I ask myself questions in my journal (or head) and make a list for each one.
  4. "What makes me happy?"
  5. "How do I show love and care for myself?"  
  6. "What example do I want to set for my children?"
  7. "What does my balanced, healthy self suggest?"
  8. When the last question is just too challenging, I ask myself, "My healthy, balanced friend, what would she suggest?"
  9. "What lesson is presenting itself to be learned in this situation?"
  10. "What could possibly be the silver lining here?"
  11. Take small steps of showing myself love.
    1. Find some small space for solitude.
    2. Take an Epsom salt bath.
    3. Slather myself with essential oils.
    4. Journal all my woes and feeling out onto paper, search for the silver lining, and make a list of steps to make the most of the current lessons.
    5. Cry.  This is an incredible release for me.  A few minutes afterward I feel much lighter.
    6. Spend time with my spiritual helpers and guides, such as angels, Jesus, etc.  This can be as simple as imagining their comforting light near me.
    7. Meditate, even if its in bed and looks like sleeping.
    8. Breath and rest outside.
    9. Tend to the garden.
    10. Take a shower.  Brush my teeth and hair.
    11. Call or otherwise connect with a friend.
    12. Make a date with a friend.
    13. Eat foods that taste good to me, avoiding sugars.  My family will enjoy whatever I crave.
    14. Hum.  I know I am on the upswing when I can hum.  Humming is my gateway to singing, dancing, smiling, and laughing.
    15. Express my appreciations individually to those who support me (love letters!) and on social media.
    16. Spend time with high vibration, positive, inspiring, comforting people.
When I recognize this cycle, ask for support from others, and take steps to return to my balanced self, each time the cycle is less devastating.  This last week I was surprised to journal about feeling incredible loneliness, yet as I sobbed and released my emotions, I more quickly made my way back into balance.  In identifying my own processes and resources, I find I rebound more quickly.  It is so very true, the more I tend to my own needs, the more full I am to care for others.  My family benefits from little steps and moments I claim for the care of my own personal light.  From this place of self-care and self-love, it is simply bliss.

How do you recognized your own self-less cycle?
What steps do you take to get back into balance?