autumn days

Monday, May 25, 2015

Silver Lining in Death

My partner's beloved aunt died last week.  One of his uncles is now fighting to keep his body alive.  While many in our circle are pregnant, we also look forward to the arrival of our third baby in a few months.  Life and death surround us in this grand human theater.  I love my people so deeply.  I stopped watching television news and violent movies a decade ago because I empathically felt each sad and frightening story was about my own family.  (I regulate my sensory needs by understanding violent non-fiction stories through books.)  I love my friends as if they are my brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, grandparents, and parents.  I am moving into understanding our connection as one big human family, into knowing I am capable of feeling and doing most things experienced by fellow humans.

When my loved ones pass, as my partner's aunt did last week, I know the loss and sadness and suffering surrounding death.  I hang on for the swirl of emotions felt around me, as if in a storm.  I know not all loved ones are easy to love, as each life journey provides unique lessons and struggles.

I also do my best to focus on the silver lining.  I feel myself and others surrounded and supported by waves of love, grace, and appreciation for sharing such love with the departed one.  I see the gathering of family and friends.  I see younger people playing together, older people catching up on the years apart.  I see hugs, connecting, and relationships.  Most of all, I see the love.  The sad beauty of love shared with another.

I comfort myself by finding my own silver lining.  I find solace in spending time with loved ones, sharing in the stories and swirl of emotions, and revisiting meaningful songs and sources that soothe my soul.  (A few of my favorites are below.)  I release some tears, hold hands, breathe, and look find the jems of appreciations in this amazing journey we share with one another.

All You Need is Love by the Beatles

Existential Bummer, Shots of Awe by Jason Silva

Fall in Love or Die Trying, Shots of Awe by Jason Silva
"Life should be lived to the point of tears, so fall in love or die trying."

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