autumn days

Friday, January 31, 2014

reflecting on my first classroom

I had the immense privilege of being a public elementary teacher before choosing to be with my children full-time.  In my reflecting and writing my way through Writing to Save Your Life, I was thrilled to revisit first memories of my very first classroom.  This moment in time was such a privilege the first time around, and continues to make my heart sing.  Thank you for allowing me to share this reflection with you, Dear Reader.

My First Time In a Special Place

When I walked into my own classroom for the first time, it was such a thrill.  Anticipation, excitement, a blank canvas.  The building was only a few years old, clean, clear, light, large windows, large empty cupboards, endless possibilities.  I could organize it however I desired.  Supplies.  Books.  I bought so many books, games, puzzles.

An air diffuser smelling like calming vanilla, another of lavender, the sound of a waterfall, clear desks and baskets.  A desk fairy!  My own calm castle with my 26 little children.  So much fun, so much stress, time pressure and expectation, attempting to gracefully balance beating hearts with strict academics.

I called parents to compliment their children, heard in their voices relief, love, and smiles.  When the homework bin went missing one Friday, I called that one playful student and he told me exactly where he had hidden it, sharing my relieved laughter.

I loved lesson planning, seeing those beautiful bright faces each morning, shaking their hands, smiling widely, and joyously exclaiming, "Yay, you're here!"  Sometimes we changed up physical contact with fist bumps or high fives.  The same gestures were shared with each child at the end of every day.  I loved them all so much, still do.  As a teacher, my heart was so open it felt like I was responsible for all the world's children.  Intending to move from fear into love, I haven't been able to watch the news or scary movies since.  These children changed me, opened me, healed me.  There was so much letting go and holding on, stretching and settling.  So much love, joy, and adventure.  So many personalities and details getting to know these incredible young people and their families.  What an incredible opportunity.  What incredible love.

What are your memories of your first time in a special place? 
How do you feel reflecting on this space?

simple machines unit


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